funny short stories for seniors printable

After such a busy day, I’m really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. He doesn’t like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. I am seeing five gentlemen every day.Īs soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. The old man looked at his wife and said, “You and your darn bran muffins. “That’s the best part…you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?” the old man asked timidly. Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. The old man asked, “What are the green fees?” They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth. Next, they went out back to see the championship golf course the home backed up to. “It’s free,” Peter replied, “Remember, this is Heaven.” As they oohed and aahed, the old man asked Peter how much of this was going to cost. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s neurotic interest in health food. This 85-year-old-couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash.

Funny short stories for seniors printable